For Updates, Archives,
And Other Stories
Visit...
VanderHawk's
Self-Affirmation
Of The Day:
(click on bullseye
for more affirmations)
|
Save This Page (Or Any Other Webpage)
As A PDF Document
Just For The Heck Of It!
The 'I Read It On The Internet' Gift Shop!
Click on the logo to visit the
Irioti Gift Shop!
It's our clever way of encouraging you to promote our site!
Got any suggestions?
Here's your chance to let us know what you think we should be adding to this site.
Contact us:admin@irioti.com
|
When Georgia Doesn't Rule The Box Office
Desperate Moviestars
In our ongoing attempt at getting some seriously-desired attention in the entertainment world, we at 'I Read It On The Internet' are once again offering up our services to those fine folks in the movie marketing world. Knowing that a good movie review can bring in additional big bucks at the box office, we are once again offering up a completely legitimate movie review of a current movie that could no doubt use a couple of positive slug lines.
Our latest mission of mercy is for the truly average film 'Georgia Rule'. With an average Metacritic review of 26 out of 100 (ouch!), this is one film that will have a hard time pulling any positive quotes to place on their posters. That's where we step in. We not only have provided this movie with a fair and decent review (seriously!), but we've also gone ahead and pulled out those much-coveted quotes and placed them on the posters for you! You can thank us later.
And now, with no further ado, here's our legitimate review:
Georgia Rule
Jane Fonda is back! Again! And in a movie that she'll no doubt consider as big of a mistake as last year's much worse film, the truly horrible Monster-In-Law! What was she thinking?. But compared to Monster-in Law, Georgia Rule is a huge success.
This newest bit of fluff involves 3 generations of women - can you say 'ultimate chick flick'? - whose lives come together after the mother - played by Felicity Huffman - decides to ship off her troublemaking daughter - the troublemaking Lindsay Lohan - to live with Granny Jane. So, what happens when 3 generations of troubled women get together? 90 minutes of sheer agony that takes the joy out of going to the movies.
You'd think the legendary Jane Fonda would choose a powerhouse script to make her return to the big screen. Obviously, Monster-In-Law taught us otherwise. Maybe she thinks everyone is really into women fighting, women bonding, women arguing, women bonding, women sharing divine secrets, etc. She would be wrong. Honestly, I can't think of anything more painful than sitting through this mess. Possibly a root canal would be a better way to spend an afternoon than with these grumpy gals.
|
Obviously, as much as we'd like to endorse this stinker, we still have our scruples. But, fear not, movie promoters! We have devised a way to help you promote your lousy movies. For example, here's the same review, only with certain phrases highlighted, for the sheer purpose of movie poster promotion...
Here's your quote....
"Jane Fonda is back! Again! And in a movie that she'll no doubt consider as big of a mistake as last year's way worse film, the truly horrible Monster-In-Law!"
...and here's your poster:
|
Here's your quote....
"But compared to Monster-in Law, Georgia Rule is a huge success".
...and here's your poster:
|
Here's your quote....
"So, what happens when 3 generations of troubled women get together? 90 minutes of sheer agony that takes the joy out of going to the movies".
...and here's your poster:
|
Here's your quote....
"You'd think Jane Fonda would choose a powerhouse script to make her return to the big screen. Obviously, Monster-In-Law taught us otherwise".
...and here's your poster:
|
And finally, here's your quote....
"Honestly, I can't think of anything more painful than sitting through this mess. Possibly a root canal would be a better way to spend an afternoon than with these grumpy gals."
...and here's your poster:
|
|
So Hollywood movie producers, if you have a true stinker that you just can't buy a decent review for....remember, 'I Read It On The Internet' is here to help.
|
For Updates, Archives,
And Other Stories
Visit...
The 'I Read It On The Internet' Gift Shop!
Click on the logo to visit the Irioti Gift Shop!
It's our clever way of encouraging you to promote our site!
|
