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Dioxide Of The Moon

Mars Has Gas!

NASA recently released some disturbing news about that spooky planet Mars. It seems that the red planet is covered with methane gas. That's big news in the world of astronomy, and even bigger news for all the comedians around the world.
Read more here.


Strike A Pose

Madonna was just one of the bigger names inducted into this year's Class of 2008 edition of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. But instead of singing live like most of the other inductees (at least the ones still among us), she allowed none other than Iggy Pop to interpret a couple of her songs during the live ceremony Monday night. But...why Iggy Pop?! Was Weird Al Yankovic not available?!
Read more here.

How To Scare The Sh*t Out Of Mice

"Here, mousy, mousy, mousy!"

It was reported this week that a team of wacky scientists from South Korea have just created some cloned cats. But not just any cloned cats. They went one step further and created cats who glow in the dark when exposed to ultraviolet light.
Doctor Moreau, eat your heart out.
Read more here.

Why Do You Think They Call It The KillaCycle?!

Killa Bill On A Better Day

We thought it would be fun to attend this year's Wired NextFest at the Los Angeles Convention Center and take some videos to share with our viewers. So, we did. And we posted our videos on YouTube so that everyone on the World Wide Web would be able to enjoy them, and thus increase our exposure (we're always looking for ways to expose ourselves).

However, we didn't think that we would be out-YouTubed by an incident that happened at the event the day prior to our attendance. But, we were. got the scoop of the day by interviewing the inventor (and destroyer) of the world's fastest motorcycle, the KillaCycle.
Read more here.

Lindsay Lohan: "The Secret Of My Excess"

"This Picture Is Just So Rude!"

Hi, everybody! It's me, Lindsay! A lot of really, really mean and nasty things have been written about me this past week, and I just wanted to take this opportunity to set my, set THE record straight about what really happened. Those annoying and nasty reporters have been saying that I'm out-of-control and that I'm a drunk and that I'm a drug addict and stuff. Well, that's just really rude! What did I ever do to deserve this kind of treatment?

Read more here.

"It's Fantacular!" (And Only Slightly Confurbing!)

New Words To Live By

Since we obviously don't have enough words in the English language to communicate effectively, every year around this time, the fine folks over at Mirriam-Webster announce their newest entries for their latest version of America's best-selling dictionary, Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. It's not an easy job selecting which words are deemed worthy enough for submission, and even though we at 'I Read It On The Internet' have done our best in the past to offer up our own selection (see previous story) it's still up to those fine folks at Mirriam-Webster to be the Deciders.

Read more here.

"We Wants It....We Needs It...Must Have The Precious iPhone!"

"My iPrecious!"

That loud and overwhelming rush of wind you hear is the sound of hundreds of thousands of tech geeks across the country breathing a collective sigh of relief. As of Friday evening, June 30, 2007 the mighty iPhone has finally been released into mainstream society! And those Believers In All Things Apple now are in proud position of their coveted new Precious.

Read more here.

Everybody Wants To Rule The World

"She's A Maniac"

Thank you, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton! Thank you for your inspiration and for your encouragement to us, The American People. Because if it wasn't for your most recent announcement that you want The American People to help choose your campaign theme song, this blog entry would have never even been conceived! Thank you, Senator Clinton, for taking a slow news week, and helping to create the latest blog entry for thousands of bloggers across this fine nation. It's not every day that we get a story idea as custom-made as this one. You are truly an inspiration to us all.

Read more here.

When Georgia Doesn't Rule The Box Office

Desperate Moviestars

In our ongoing attempt at getting some seriously-desired attention in the entertaiment world, we at 'I Read It On The Internet' are once again offering up our services to those fine folks in the movie marketing world. Knowing that a good movie review can bring in additional big bucks at the box office, we are once again offering up a completely legitimate movie review of a current movie that could no doubt use a couple of positive slug lines.

Read more here.

Pimp My Writings!

Looking For A
Few Good Quotes?

There's an old saying that goes, "Opinions are like assholes....everybody's got one". But nobody is more proud of their assholes, er uh, their opinions, than movie critics. After all, who died and made these people worthy to criticize anything?! There's another old saying that goes, "Those that can't do, teach, and those that can't do anything else, become movie critics". Or something like that. And yet, these same critics constantly have their writings lauded and applauded, and some lucky ones even have their opinions showcased on movie posters!

So, with that in mind, we here at 'I Read It On The' - seriously desiring to be taken more seriously - have come up with a new way to attract some much-desired attention in the world of entertainment. We are now offering up our opinions to be picked up and exploited by way of movie reviews.
Read more here.

Caffeine-Freebase Cocaine

Goes Great With
Heroin-Laced Doritos!

Last week a Las Vegas-based beverage company introduced Cocaine to the marketplace. No, not THAT cocaine, but an energy drink that bears the same name. It's a great opportunity for young, impressionable kids to be introduced to the fabulous world of illegal drugs, without really breaking any laws. After all, now that spinach is off the market for a good long while, why not forget the idea of healthy eating altogether and embrace the idea of a mind-numbing sugar-laden energy drink to fill the void!
Read more here.

One Boy's Trash...

"Do You Really Want
To Punish Me?"

Boy George, former lead singer of 80's group Culture Club, began his new court-ordered community service gig on Monday, sweeping the trash off the sidewalks of New York. And true to form, it took Boy George less than an hour for the singer to get into an arguement with the media. "You think you're better than me?" he yelled at the group of photographers and reporters, "Go home. Let me do my community service." Although this was very hard to hear over the constant flashing of cameras, the snickering of photographers, and the musical chants of "Comma, comma, comma, comma come and cu-lean me up!" from smart-ass New York bystanders.
Read more here.

Kiss And Makeup

"We're Not Gonna Take It
No, We Ain't Gonna Take It...
Oh, wait....That's Twisted Sister"

Nearly 200 irate Kiss fans showed up in full quiet riot gear this past weekend at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio to protest the ongoing snub of refusing to nominate their boys into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It was a peaceful demonstration, and not a very effective one, since the nomination decisions are made in New York, not Cleveland.
Read more here.

Who Gets To Play My Brother George?

Liberace When He Was
Young And Gay

It was announced this week that a major Academy Award winning actor has decided to take on the role of a lifetime by playing the lead in the larger than life biopic of none other than Liberace (we know, there's already been two TV movies on his life...but those don't count). Obviously, with the star power behind this big screen version, it will be the role of a lifetime for this already-bigger-than-big actor.
Read more here.

A Series Of Tubes

Tube Boob

This website has already reported on the ongoing debate on Net Neutrality and the future of internet freedom, but we haven't yet heard from Senator Ted Stevens, the man whose wisdom will ultimately help determine whether big businesses such as AT&T and Comcast will be allowed to regulate the speed and the availability of particular websites they provide to their subscribers...
Read more here.

Party On, Dude!

Party-Boy For Rent
(the hat costs extra)

Planning a party?! Not sure how to entertain your guests? Why not consider hiring Britney Spear's husband? That's right, for only a modest fee of $20,000 you can assure your party will be a huge success with the talented Mr. Spears in attendance. What will K-Fed do at your party, you might ask? Silly question. Yo, he will mingle, bro! He will bring some white boy funk to your crib, that's what! He will bring the bling and give some major street cred to your celebrity-starved soiree! But make sure you stock plenty of Coors beer, because that's probably the drink of choice for this upper-class party-boy-for-rent.

Read more here.

Words Of The Day

Official Slang Words

This week Google officially became a verb. 'To google', or to 'be googled' is now part of the lexicon of words that have been deemed by Merriam-Webster as needing a definition for their latest edition.

In addition to the lowercase google, we can now look up definitions for words we already know how to spell, such as unibrow, spyware, himbo, soul patch (aren't those two words?!) and mouse potato (actually, Dan Quayle might appreciate the entry for that one).
Read more here.

Adopt-A-Polar Bear


From time to time we like to provide our readers with various public service announcements, (which are usually just veiled attempts at making fun of other web sites). This time we offer up Save-A-Polar Bear! Yes, for only $25, you can provide a polar bear with a warm meal, a cozy shelter, and hopefully a slight bit of assurance that the big-ass oil companies won't dump toxic oil spills into his drinking water.
Read more here

The Skinny On Star

Star Wars With View

Star Jones Reynolds Wrapped up her tour of duty on The View this week, when she surprised her fellow co-hosts by announcing on air that she would be leaving the show, supposedly one-upping the show's producers by making her statement earlier than expected. Upon hearing of Star's decision, Rosie O'Donnell - the show's new host this fall - was quoted as simply stating, "GOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!!"
Read more here

Information Superhighway Roadblock Ahead

See Story To Click There

Save the internet?!!!
Okay, what are the hippy tree-huggers up to now? Well, truth be told, it's what the big telecom corporations are up to that's really freakin' us out, man. Just this past week, the House of Representatives voted against net neutrality and in favor of (big surprise) the big telecom corporations like AT&T, Verizon and Comcast, who are now one step closer to re-routing the internet superhighway towards their pocket-lining favorite websites.
If you care about internet freedom, and the ability to surf where you damn well want to surf, you might want to read more on how you can help 'Save The Internet' here

How To Dismantle An Atomic President

Funny, Bloody Funny

There's really no story here. Just this hilarious video of President George W. doing the U2 song, Sunday, Bloody Sunday. You can see the video here.

Hot Pockets

An Inconvenient Future

This week brings the theatrical premiere of 'An Inconvenient Truth', the ex-almost-former president Al Gore's documentary on the effects of global warming, the end of civilization as we know it, and how we're all up poop creek if we don't change our ways. It's a sobering look at our immediate future, with not a lot of hope for a sequel.
Read more here

Bubble Boy

"I Really Gotta Pee!"

He's at it again! That famous street magician David Blaine has hit the streets of New York City once again to promote his latest ABC special: David Blaine: Drowned Alive (sounds sort of like an oxymoron, doesn't it?) But speaking of morons, only this guy could tie up Lincoln Center by placing himself in an 8 foot plexiglass bubble aquarium for one week as he prepares himself for another Great Escape...
Read more here

Bonus Tracks

Truth In Advertising
Just bought that new Neil Diamond CD? Popped it into your computer to have a listen? Guess what? You're screwed. You've now got malicious software deeply embedded on your computer that makes your computer vulnerable to viruses and hackers! And it's even hidden from your processor, so good luck getting rid of it! All thanks to Sony BMG...
Read more here

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